Reading “Dear Abby” can be such a conflicting experience. On the one hand, it feels good to know that my particular peculiarities might not be nearly as weird as some others out there; on the other hand, it’s pretty unsettling to realize just how uncommon common sense truly is.
I experienced that internal conflict again recently when I read a “Dear Abby” letter from the future sister-in-law of a classic “bridezilla.” Instead of getting in touch with her inner princess for her big day, this bride is apparently channeling Adolph Hitler and alienating everyone in her universe.
For starters, the bride decreed that all family members who wear glasses must get contact lenses because glasses “look ugly in pictures.” Second, she demanded that the groom’s father get dental work done to improve his smile. And third, she ordered her sister-in-law-to-be, who recently suffered a torn knee ligament, not to bring her crutches to the ceremony.
There’s no mention of the groom’s reaction to all of this micromanaging craziness, but I picture him cowering in a corner somewhere timidly mumbling, “Yes, dear.” I hope he doesn’t assume his fiancé’s bossy-pants behavior will end after the wedding, because the truth is, what comes out of us when we’re emotionally “squeezed” is what’s already inside us anyway. Good luck with that, buddy.
I’m afraid I’m not optimistic about how this marriage will turn out, given this rocky start and the fact that nearly 50 percent of U.S. marriages end in divorce. That sad statistic is made tragically ironic by another statistic: the average wedding in America today now costs somewhere between $27,000 and $32,000. That’s a lot of dough to risk with just 50-50 odds of getting a winning roll of the marriage dice.
I’m not saying pricey weddings are wrong, but I do definitely worry about what I see as a trend to invest more in planning a glamorous wedding than in preparing for a solid marriage.
Ever the realist and tomboy, I was never the kind of girl who sat around daydreaming about a fairytale wedding. After getting to know Joe (now my husband), I definitely wanted to spend my life with him, but when we got engaged, I was busy with college and tennis and being in love, and I honestly didn’t care very much about flowers and dresses and reception food. I was happy to mostly hand over the wedding-planning reins to my mom.
Not once in our 40 years of marriage have I wished we had a fancier wedding, although there have been times when I’ve thought we probably should’ve accepted my dad’s offer to pay us to elope and instead used that money to buy shares of Microsoft or Apple stock when they first became available (#couldabeenrich).
Certainly, weddings are big deals and the vows exchanged are sacred, but even the most expensive and glamorous weddings on earth pale in comparison to the wedding celebration God is planning for true believers in His Son, Jesus. It may be a weird metaphor for guys, but God actually calls the church the “bride” of Christ (2 Corinthians 11:2) and He’s planning a “marriage supper” in heaven that will be grander than anything we humans could dream up or pay for (Revelation 19:7-9, Isaiah 25:6).
No, there won’t be anyone there with glasses, bad teeth, or crutches. Not because some bridezilla wants it that way, but simply because all in attendance will have been healed and made whole, beautiful and radiant. And it’s all been paid for in advance by Jesus … with His life. All that’s left is for each of us to accept or decline His invitation. What we do with Jesus is our RSVP.
I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t miss that wedding for the world.