There are people who love the sound of their own voice. I can now say with some degree of confidence that I am not one of them.
I don’t have a classic, lilting Southern accent, despite having lived in the South for more than 40 years now, nor do I have the pleasantly bland Midwestern accent I grew up with. Instead, my voice seems to be a strange amalgamation of the two, somewhere between Minnie Pearl and Dorothy from the “Wizard of Oz.”
It’s not like I ever considered myself a gifted speaker, but since I’ve been spending hours every week editing the recordings a friend and I are doing for our podcast, well, let’s just say it’s been humbling.
I am now painfully aware of how often I say “um” and “like” and “you know” and “I mean” when I’m forced to stall because my brain has missed its cue and forgotten to send real words to my mouth. I … I … I … stammer sometimes when too many ideas suddenly avalanche out of my brain and pile up before I can get the words out. And I too often start a new sentence before finishing the previous one.
The audio editing software I use displays every recorded sound as a spike, wave, blob or squiggle, and it can be mighty challenging to tweak those spikes, waves, blobs and squiggles to produce about 30 coherent minutes of content that, I pray, offers listeners a bit of “unquenchable hope,” which is the name of our weekly podcast.
When that challenge seems overwhelming, I take heart in the Old Testament story about God literally speaking through a donkey to get His point across. I just love that story in Numbers 22 because it reminds me that if God can speak through a donkey, surely He can use me.
Although I’m much more comfortable typing on a computer than speaking into a microphone, God doesn’t always allow us to stay in our comfort zones, does He? In fact, He quite often leads His servants into depths way over their heads, which is where it seems I live most days.
Why? Does God enjoy watching us squirm? No, but He definitely wants to build our faith and increase our dependence upon Him. As Paul wrote: “And He has said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.’ ” (2 Corinthians 12:9a)
“Unquenchable Hope” certainly hasn’t amassed a huge following, but the feedback we’re getting indicates some listeners are being encouraged, which both amazes and motivates me to keep going.
If the hugely imperfect things I say and write can somehow point someone to Jesus Christ, who is “the way, the truth, and the life,” I need to put myself out there. Yes, it means my weaknesses will probably be exposed, but I must trust God to make up for those weaknesses with His anointing.
Most of us don’t have world-class abilities, but all of us have enough for God to use, if we’re willing to simply go where He leads. Look what He accomplished through Moses, who had no confidence whatsoever in his public speaking abilities. And John the Baptist, a rough-around-the-edges, in-your-face firebrand who might’ve been pegged the town nut job if he lived today. And the Apostles, an unlikely bunch, indeed, to be chosen as the first torchbearers of the faith.
I may not like my voice, but my constant prayer is that God will nevertheless use it to bring a little light into this present darkness and perhaps encourage others to venture out of their comfort zones and follow wherever God leads them.
As the saying goes, “God doesn’t call the qualified; He qualifies the called.” Even a donkey. Even me. Even you.