I guess everyone probably has “sitcom moments” when you realize you’ve gotten yourself into a situation that looks like something Fred and Ethyl Mertz might find themselves in on the old “I Love Lucy” show. We had one of those at our house a few days ago and with my husband’s permission (I promise I did ask), I’ll share it.
My hubby was the one who pulled a “Fred Mertz” this time as he sort of, kind of forgot our 40th wedding anniversary. But the amazing thing is not that Joe forgot, but rather how I responded this time. Instead of bursting into tears or a tirade like the typical sitcom wife would do, all I could feel for my guilt-riddled spouse was compassion, appreciation and love.
It helps that Joe didn’t completely forget our anniversary. Weeks before, he’d mentioned how we should celebrate big because sticking together for 40 years is pretty much a miracle and aberration these days. So yes, he did remember that this momentous occasion was coming up on July 9th. It’s just that July 9th snuck up on him because it fell a Sunday and on weekends, he doesn’t typically pay attention to a calendar.
On the morning of our anniversary, I woke Joe up with an exuberant “Happy Anniversary!” and got to witness a true, classic deer-in-the-headlights look on the face of my properly horrified husband. For the first time in 40 years, he hadn’t gotten me flowers or a card, or made anniversary date plans for us. But I certainly didn’t need to make him feel bad; he was doing a fine job all by himself. In fact, his profuse apologies finally prompted me to say, “It’s really, really okay. It’s like you want me to be mad, but I’m just not.”
And that was the truth. I’m not so much a “big event” person as an “everyday” person. How Joe treats me on all the normal days—his faithfulness, kindness, reliability, love, helpfulness and patience 365 days a year—is what matters most to me.
And here’s the truth: Joe has such a giving heart I sometimes call him “Mr. Carson” because he serves me and others like the attentive butler on “Downton Abbey”; he’s patiently and compassionately walked with me through all kinds of medical mayhem without complaint; he laughs at my jokes and endures my obsession with sports; and most importantly, His faith in Jesus is genuine, strong and steady.
So, should I disregard all that and go ballistic because Joe lets our anniversary sneak up and bite him? I don’t think so.
I’ve recently learned that several couples we know are headed for divorce after many years of marriage. It breaks my heart and makes me realize that Joe’s everyday faithfulness is a big, big deal. I also think it’s a wonderful picture of God’s devotion to us, and the kind of devotion He seeks from us.
God doesn’t always do what I want Him to do or give me exactly what I want, but what about the hundreds of blessings from His hand I enjoy every day? Should I accuse, rail against, and turn my back on Him over a few disappointments, discounting years of His faithful provision and protection?
And turning the coin over, how about my faithfulness to God? Is it intentional, consistent and passionate Monday through Saturday, as well as on Sundays? Do I go to church to express and celebrate a relationship with God I’ve cultivated every single day during the week?
Making a big splash on a big day is fine, but the crucible of the normal day is where character is truly forged and revealed. And that’s where my husband and my God really shine. May I be so faithful.