What did I get for Christmas?
Some nice, thoughtful gifts, but perhaps the best was a reminder that I still have much to learn about loving God.
The reminder began as I was having a big time with my 2-year-old grandson, Walty, on Christmas Day. We gave Walty a toddler-sized basketball goal and set it up in our living room, as any good Hoosier-born basketball fan would do. (After all, the Bible does say, “Train up a child in the way he should go… .”)
Walty took to basketball like a duck to water. I taught him to raise his arms and say, “Yessssssss!,” every time either of us made a basket, and it was way beyond cute.
When I was ready for a time out, I sat down to snuggle with my precious new California grandbaby, Lucy. Oh my, don’t even get me started on the joys and wonders of Lucy.
As I cuddled his little cousin, Walty sidled up with his basketball and looked at me like I’d just run over his puppy. I was surprised at what came next.
“I wuv you, Gwam,” he said plaintively and pitifully.
I could see in his sad, chocolate eyes what Walty was feeling and thinking: “Why’d you stop playing with me to hold this new kid?”
It didn’t require a session with Dr. Phil to understand what my grandson needed in that moment. I scooped him up, hugged him tight and told him I loved him.
Even so, I knew there was no way he could really understand that I would always have plenty of room on my lap and in my heart for him. Always, no matter what. A toddler can’t comprehend love that stretches so far.
In that moment, I realized that I try to make God’s love conditional and limited because I want to understand it. But it isn’t, and I can’t. I just can’t comprehend love that stretches so far.
I see now that I need to stop striving to understand God’s incomprehensible love, and just believe and receive it, the way Walty received my hug, and respond to it by loving Him and others. (1 John 4:19)
Part two of the lesson came a bit later as Edda, my 3-year-old grandcutie, was on my lap downloading and playing free children’s games on my iPhone. (Crazy, scary tech savvy do little ones possess these days.)
Every time Edda asked, “Can I go to the app store and download a game?” and I said, “Sure,” she gave me a squeeze and said, “I love you, Gram.”
Okay, yes, I knew I was being played. And while I do believe Edda loves me, I was fully aware that her declarations of devotion were mostly about her getting what she wanted in Gram and Pappy’s “Land of Yes.”
Thinking this might be a teachable moment, I asked, “Edda, would you love me even if I didn’t let you play games on my phone?”
Looking confused, she answered, “But you do.”
“Yeah, I know. But if I didn’t, would you still love me?”
“But you do.”
I never could get a straight answer, because toddler love is often quite conditional.
I was reminded that sometimes my love for God is, too.
How do I react when His answer to a prayer is “no”? How much more lavish is my praise when He says “yes”?
Toddler love.
My young grandchildren will grow and I’m sure their love will mature. It will become more secure and unconditional.
I pray my love for God will, too.
“…the Lord your God is testing you to find out if you love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul.” – Deuteronomy 13:3b