I’m not going to appear very spiritual by admitting this, but having undergone two melanoma surgeries in the past eight weeks, at times I’ve allowed myself to get altogether too fearful and paranoid about the cancer bogeyman who seems to be stalking me. I now squint and glare at every little freckle like it’s been FedExed to me by the Grim Reaper.
Want to hear something ironic? In the midst of worrying about all of this cancer business, I almost ended up as road kill at Food Lion. I nearly got taken out of this world, not by cancer, but by a woman driving through a parking lot.
The week before Christmas, my husband and I were taking groceries to our car and I somehow didn’t notice a ginormous SUV barreling toward me. Behind the wheel was a woman in a hurry who was not caring about speed limits or pedestrian right-of-way issues at that moment.
When an oblivious pedestrian (me) meets up with an oblivious driver (her), the driver always wins, so I surely would’ve been mowed down had my hubby not yelled “STOPPPPPPPP!” in the nick of time.
I didn’t need another adrenaline blast–after all, I’d just shelled out nearly 70 bucks for our Christmas roast–but I got quite a jolt when I realized that my roast and I had come within a half-step of being catapulted into eternity.
I learned two things from this experience: 1.) Never interfere with a woman on a shopping mission– the driver of that car had a steely look in her eye that screamed, “I dare you to get between me and my Christmas ham”; and 2.) Unhealthy fear is a huge waste of time because something we haven’t even bothered to be afraid of may well be the thing that gets us.
Let’s face it, we really never know for sure what’s going to go down in the course of a day. I should do what I can reasonably do to take care of myself, but ultimately, my life is in God’s hands. The desire to control and the inclination to doubt come so naturally; trusting God is a challenge.
It’s easy for me to pontificate about having faith in God; it’s a heck of a lot harder to trust Him and His promises when life gets unexpectedly dicey.
Do I truly believe what I say I believe? Is my faith in God real enough to keep my heart peaceful when living each day feels a bit like tip-toeing through a minefield?
I’ve wrestled aplenty in recent months, but at the end of each day, by the grace of God, I’ve held on to Him and what He says. We’re all trusting someone or something; no one else has a resume like God’s.
This world can be a scary place, indeed. Scary, but not spinning out of control. I’m convinced a good God is at the helm, and perhaps the highest form of worship and expression of faith I can offer is to simply relax in His care, come what may.
A character in C.S. Lewis’ book, “The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe,” makes an interesting observation about Aslan, the mighty lion who represents God in the story. When asked if Aslan is safe, the character replies: “Who said anything about safe? ’Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.”
And I tell you, I’m clinging to the fire-tested assurance that a good God, the King above all kings, holds me in His strong, loving hands. I’m quite sure there’s no better place to be and it’s where I plan to stay throughout this new year.
“Fear not,” God says. Sounds like a good plan to me.