If you don’t read the newspaper from front page to back, you never know what you might be missing. I recently got my biggest chuckle of the day from an advertisement tucked away in the classifieds.
Here’s what it said:
“BAD DOG needs good home! Free 1.5-yr.-old female, spayed Boston terrier. Dislikes: obeying electric collars; being left alone; glowering, armed neighbors. Likes: kids, chasing cats, eating garbage, destroying holiday decorations. Call (phone number) if you are patient and have a yard with an actual fence.”
After I got through chuckling at the wit and honesty of the dog owner, I realized that this Boston terrier and I have a lot in common…
I’ve never worn an electric dog collar (although my parents perhaps considered it when I was a teenager), but I’m sure I wouldn’t like it. Nobody likes to be told they can’t do something they want to do, or go someplace they want to go.
It’s stupid to violate the loving boundaries God sets, but that doesn’t mean I don’t sometimes try. No electric shock collars for God’s children, though – the Holy Spirit knows how to give us a holy jolt when we’re heading out of bounds.
Like this Boston terrier, I don’t like being left alone. As exasperating as people can sometimes be, I’d hate to do life all by myself. And living without God’s good and loving presence is a scary proposition, for sure, and one that thankfully, His children never have to experience. “I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you,” He promises. (Hebrews 13:5)
I don’t like “glowering, armed neighbors,” either. Fortunately, I don’t have any, but I do occasionally bump up against folks who’ve had all the warm and fuzzy parts of their personalities rubbed off. I’ve also been on the receiving end of a “glower” (a resentful stare). It’s never fun to wonder if you’re about to become a crime statistic.
Dogs who like kids can’t be all bad. I like kids, too (and I’m about to like them even more as I become a grandmother in a few weeks!). They are typically honest, forgiving and quick to laugh, and in that sense, wonderful role models for us all.
The ad says my Boston terrier soulmate likes to chase cats and eat garbage. I don’t chase cats, unless they are stinking up my porch, but if eating “garbage” includes Twizzlers and cookies, then I guess I’m guilty.
I checked the newspaper a few days after I first saw the ad for this dog and found it was no longer running. I suspect and hope that someone was as charmed by the description as I was and adopted the pup.
Who would adopt a “bad dog” with so many irritating habits and vices?
More importantly, who would adopt me…or you…with all our weaknesses, bad habits and sins?
God would. And He does, if we accept His adoption plan–the gift of salvation He offers through Jesus.
The magic of Christmas is the incomprehensible wonder of a holy God passionately desiring to embrace unholy people like you and me, crediting to our bankrupt accounts the righteousness of Jesus, and bringing us home to His heart.
“But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)
“He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will…” (Ephesians 1:5)