We never get too old to learn new things about ourselves … even things we don’t particularly want to know. I’ve come to realize that I have a neurotic intolerance for things that don’t work right. It drives me far too nuts when things break and don’t function like they’re supposed to function.
My body and my house are getting some years on them, things are starting to fall apart, and I’m not coping very well. It makes me grouchy and frustrated. It seems a colossal waste to spend so much time, energy and money fixing broken stuff.
When my computer stops computing, I want to grab a baseball bat and beat it into dust. When the dentist says, “It’s time to replace those old fillings with crowns,” I want to crown something all right … but not my teeth.
In the past few years, I’ve watched all kinds of things around me fall apart — the refrigerator, freezer, dishwasher, toaster, and my computer hard drive, not to mention various parts on our cars and in my body. I currently find myself casting suspicious glances at our geriatric washer and dryer, wondering when they will give up the proverbial ghost. Or will it be the microwave … or my appendix?
I’m all for stimulating the economy, but do I have to do it single-handedly? My days resound with the “cha-ching” of cash registers firing all over town as I lay down big bucks to keep myself and my stuff functioning. The rush I get from buying new things is dwarfed by the aggravation of having to spend money fixing those things later on. It just doesn’t seem right, doggone it.
This neurotic part of my persona seems to remain in a perpetual cramp, constantly rebelling against the inescapable fact that a significant chunk of this life is all about maintenance and repair.
While philosophizing about this, I came to the conclusion that there is something in each of us that innately knows we were created for perfection, not for life in this broken world with its heartache and hassles.
Man was originally created by God to thrive forever in a perfect world where repairmen, medical personnel, firemen, law enforcers, undertakers, cemetery plot salesmen, psychotherapists, loan officers, lawyers, soldiers and personal trainers would be blissfully out of work. Unfortunately, Adam and Eve’s rebellion messed up that perfect scene so now we have 9-1-1, “The Jerry Springer Show,” support groups, wars, cellulite, insurance premiums and tacky commercials for personal injury lawyers.
Perhaps my neurosis is really a holy discontentment with a world that doesn’t look very much like the world God originally created. I think that God probably understands and even shares my frustration.
So, why doesn’t He fix it?
He will. Right now we’re in the dark, difficult, tense part of the story – the part where it looks like the bad guys are going to win. But God is patiently waiting to unfold the glorious end – the part where His goodness triumphs and His children no longer have to endure broken bodies, broken dreams, broken relationships, and broken stuff.
In the meantime, He’s told us to trust Him and find some joy in the story as it unfolds, because there is still much joy to be found … twists, turns, brokenness and all.
Revelation 21:4 — He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.