Several years ago, when our boys were about six and three years old, we did the great American family pilgrimage to Disney World. A few weeks before our trip, I got my hands on a book titled something like, “Making the Most Out of Your Disney World Vacation.”
Well, giving a book like that to a hyper-planner like me is about like handing a fifth of bourbon to an alcoholic. In the weeks leading up to our Disney adventure, I tore that guidebook up. I studied, I memorized, I plotted. This book was amazing. It suggested which attractions to hit early in the morning when the lines were the shortest, which restaurants to find at lunchtime, where to stand to watch the Electric Light Parade – everything you could ever want to know about Disney World and more.
Armed with all of this useful information, I became an Allied commander plotting the invasion of Normandy. The Crum family was going to conquer Disney World like no other family had ever conquered Disney World … because Mom had a plan.
My husband’s role in the invasion was simply to keep up and to capture each precious moment on videotape – no small task since in those days, camcorders were the size of small refrigerators and required much brute strength to manhandle.
When we were just hours away from deployment on our mission to Orlando, we learned the unhappy news that our six-year-old, Ryan, had contracted strep throat. He had complained of having a mild sore throat for a couple of days, but nothing severe, but my inner Mommy voice told me we better have a strep test done before we left town. Finding out it was positive, we then became concerned that the rest of our battalion might come down with the bug while in the midst of our mission.
Hmmmm – my guide to the perfect Disney vacation didn’t include a chapter on “What to do if Your Entire Family Gets Strep Throat at Disney World.” We called a compassionate doctor friend and just hours before we boarded our unarmored personnel carrier (our minivan), we picked up antibiotics for the entire family. Three more bottles of meds to stuff in Mom’s bottomless fanny pack (no pun intended) – an inconvenience but certainly not an insurmountable problem.
We made it to Disney World and the conquest began. I had my trusty war plan (the guidebook) in the hotel room so we could plot each day’s strategy. But very quickly, I discovered the sad truth that the book didn’t cover all contingencies.
For example, where was the chapter on “How to Pay For Enough Cold Beverages to Remain Hydrated When the Temperature is Over 100 Degrees and the Humidity is so High You Need Scuba Gear to Breathe”?
Or, “How to Keep From Starting An International Incident When Most of the Families in the Free World Have Gathered in One Place and Are Screaming at One Another in Their Native Tongues”?
Or, “How to Remain Dignified and Ladylike When Your Antibiotics Have Given You a Yeast Infection and You are Standing in Line for an Hour-and-a-Half in the Sweltering Heat for a 45-second Ride on Dumbo”?
By the third day, the book was trashed and I had gone from conqueror to survivor. A hot, irritable, itchy survivor.
But I noticed something – my boys were having a great time. They didn’t care that we spent exponentially more time standing in lines than we did enjoying attractions, that we had to take out a second mortgage to buy bottled water and ice cream bars shaped like Mickey’s head, or that by the end of the day, we looked like drowned rats and smelled worse.
Mom had a plan, Dad had the camcorder and the charge cards, so my boys had fun. No worries.
I learned some things on that trip:
1. Things never go according to any book … except one – The Book. The Bible covers every contingency we may ever face. Poring over that book and committing it to my mind and heart is a much better investment than any other guidebook I could find on the market. “Thy Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” – Psalm 119:105
2. Life is much more fun when you trust the One with the plan. My boys relaxed in the knowledge that I had their way planned and I was taking care of them. They never doubted it for a minute. I can live that way, too, because God says, “For I know the plans I have for you … plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope …” (Jeremiah 29:11).
3. Sometimes the best family memories can’t be bought – they just happen. I don’t remember laughing a whole lot during those three days we spent conquering Disney World, but I have laughed myself into utter exhaustion watching my two huge sons spontaneously attempt to perform a Riverdance routine in our living room.
4. I hope Jesus comes back before I have to take any grandchildren to Disney World.